Happy New Year: "Manners" matters
Welcome to my digital home and my second post. Happy 2019! Today’s piece focuses on my upcoming book: “Manners will take you where brains and money won’t.”
I want to say more on why I am writing about manners and provide a status on the book. First, status: The draft manuscript is complete; It is being reviewed by members of “Team Donald.” Early reviews suggests some reworking is in order. This week, I also consulted with a couple of friends who are authors. Their advice was invaluable and at the same time a bit sobering. I thought launching a rocket was hard. I need to be patient and get this right. I am grateful to my support team.
My decision to write a book about manners occurred after talking to a neighbor about his son’s plans for college. During our discussion, I got on my soapbox, waxing widely on my favorite themes, including manners. At one point my neighbor blurted out, “That’s good stuff, you should write a book!” Right then, in the small garden between our homes, I declared I would do just that.
The seeds had long been planted. My mother, a Southern-reared educator, was a stickler for proper manners. One of Momma’s manners axioms always stuck with me: “Manners will take you where brains and money won’t.” I did not fully appreciate her wisdom until the end of my NASA career and after she died. In many ways this book is a tribute to her wisdom and prescience.
The completion of a successful career is not always traveled by the smartest people I concluded. (I am exhibit A.) By “smart” I mean knowledgeable, fast/critical thinker, technically or artistically capable, breadth and strength of abilities. It seemed there is another dimension that mattered. Elements of that dimension include a person’s ability to cultivate rapport with different types of people, a person’s authentic presence, and a person who comes from love, service and giving towards their fellow human being.
I have been wrong and surprised enough to see that there are no easy answers to this question: what is the best way to be successful in an organization and in life? I don’t find the word “success” useful, but for now I use it to describe that place Momma meant when she said “Manners will take you….” That place is much more than a big job title, large house, fancy cars, fame, power, or wealth.
When I reflected on my NASA experiences, the training I did, the books I read, and when I meditated on Momma’s wisdom, I knew there were messages in me that wanted out. When I think about my purpose now, I am called towards giving and service. How can I help others, especially people starting out in their careers? This is why I am writing this book.